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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in mysticviper's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, January 26th, 2012
11:14 am
Advancing Liberty
How to Advance Liberty
by Leonard E. Read

This article is a transcript of a lecture recorded on March 10, 1965, as Album No. 12 in the Foundation for Economic Education's Long Playing Seminar Library.

There would be no need to work for liberty were liberties not being lost. Most Americans are unaware of a decline in individual liberty, and the reason is obvious: the decline rarely takes the form of sudden personal deprivations but, instead, takes the form of unnoticed erosion, and thus we come, as do the Russians, to regard whatever state we are in as a normal condition.
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Friday, February 12th, 2010
9:32 pm
Best Jobs of 2010
Horked from Terry Pounds web site.

Today Careercast.com released their ranking of the best to worst 200 jobs in 2010. The best job is Actuary and the worst goes to Roustabout (which just beat Lumberjack). Well, for fun I decided to come up with my list of 10 best and worst jobs for 2010. This list is completely subjective and I’ll start with just the 10 best.

10 Best Jobs For 2010

1. Lottery winner. This is pretty much as good as it gets with lots of money, no work, no obligation to your family, friends, or anybody really. Downside: Strangely high probability of falling apart in some serious way, including the possibility of blowing your head off inside the original batmobile.

2. Entitled Blue-blood Asshole. You were born into a family with infinite resources and have been pampered since birth. You’ve known nothing else which is why you feel you deserve everything you have. Even if you fuck it up, the family is there like a giant safety net. Downside: You’re an asshole.

3. Kept Boy/Girl. Lavish gifts, some sugar-person’s bottomless checkbook, it’s a good life. Downside: You must fuck on command (more of a drawback for girls than guys, assuming the lights can stay off).

4. Dysfunctional Pop/Rock Legend. Sure, you have to play music now and again but that’s an ego stroke you don’t really mind anyway (and if you ask nice you can just lip sync the whole thing). The rest of the time it’s shallow sex, money, drugs, and more sex. Downside: Herpes.

5. Sex Slave/Gimp. Ok, you’re a slave which comes with some baggage. You don’t have freedom is probably the big one. On the other hand, your master wants to keep you alive and that means taking care of your every need. That and ya know, you’re with someone who’s sick enough to have a sex slave which means there’s a good chance you will experience every sexual sensation biologically possible for a human being. Downside: Fecal play.

6. TV/Film Celebrity. Sex slave beat this out because at least as a sex slave your humiliation is private. As a celebrity you will have lots of money and drugs but not quite the same amount of hot/loose groupies that benefit the higher ranking pop star. But hey, you’re rich and beloved and umm, rich. Downside: You have to memorize really long scripts.

7. Porn Casting Director. Attractive people having sex with you isn’t part of the job, it IS the job. Now sure, you’re not rich but you have money and there’s someone sucking your genitals as you read this. Downside: You’re not rich.

8. CEO of a bank that’s too big to fail. I’m not going political on you here, it’s just that as a CEO of an essential part of our economy you not only can’t lose your company do to your management of it, but you don’t even have to give up your bonus. I mean, hey, you’re too valuable and if they didn’t give you millions in bonuses for running the company in the ground you might leave and run a different company into the ground (possibly one that is allowed to fail). Downside: Feigning regret over the trouble you’ve caused for everyone else.

9. Sex toy mold model. Your job is to think dirty thoughts and once aroused, let someone encase your junk in plaster. You watch tv for a bit and they remove the plaster. Some short time later your cock is a dildo and you can literally fuck yourself with it. And you got paid for this! Downside: Shaving junk prior to casting.

10. Executioner. So why is this in the top ten? Because you get paid to throw ONE SWITCH. Sure, some poor bastard dies because of it but still, you showed up and pressed one button or lever or whatever and then you went home. George Jetson had to do more work than that. Downside: Smell of burning hair.
Thursday, April 2nd, 2009
7:21 am
Bob - A Modern Fairytale
Since before anyone could remember, their town had a wonderful machine. For each coin dropped into the machine, a ripe orange rolled out. This machine had no markings, no other openings, no battery compartment and made no sound. The people had long discussions about how it might work. They watched for long periods, but never saw anyone take out the money or fill the machine with oranges. Someone calculated that the total number of coins dropped in would more than fill the machine. It's a mystery. The oranges were sweet and juicy all year, yet there was no way an orange tree could ever grow inside such a box. It's a mystery. What does the machine do with all the money? It's a mystery.

One morning, they were surprised to see a shiny new label on the machine that simply read, "Hello, my name is Bob". Nobody knew how the label got there, but at last here was an explanation. It's Bob! Someone asked how Bob could possibly fit inside the box along with all those oranges? It's a mystery, but what other explanation could there be? Where does Bob get all those oranges? It's a mystery, but what other explanation could there be? What does Bob do with all the money? It's a mystery, but what other explanation could there be? Does Bob eat anything but oranges? It's a mystery, but what other explanation could there be?

Soon the people were divided into factions. Some believed Bob was inside the machine, somehow transforming coins into oranges. Others believed Bob wasn't actually inside, but somehow controlled the machine from a comfortable vantage point. Another group believed that Bob simply built the machine and was now long gone. They argued passionately, but at least they all agreed on one thing - It's Bob!

Horked from http://www.professortangent.org/tangents.shtm
Monday, January 14th, 2008
4:07 pm
The End of the Beginning
I don't post much.
I try to entertain or educate if I do. Those of you out there who might read this should know, I'm still around, I'm just not creative enuf right now to post.
I admire those of you who post more than four times a week. Most are witty, some informative, few are banal.
There is a certain energy threshold that I must overcome to be able to write anything.
I hope, in the next few posts, I can get somethings off my chest that I have been thinking about. Nothing earth shattering, I think, just information I've come across and situations I see coming.

Friday, December 14th, 2007
8:26 am
Watched Fizzys silly Micro$oft surface parody and that led me to this...
Friday, August 3rd, 2007
6:48 pm
Loyalty In Marriage
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You've been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side..........You know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck, get the hell away from me."
Monday, April 23rd, 2007
9:28 am
Marriage Made In Heaven
A couple were driving to a church to get married. On the way, they got into a car accident and died. When they arrive in heaven, they see St. Peter at the gate. They ask him if he could arrange it so they could marry in heaven.

St. Peter tells them that he'll do his best to work on it for them.

Three months pass by and the couple hear nothing. They bump into St. Peter and ask him about the marriage.

He says, "I'm still working on it."

Two years pass by and no marriage.

St. Peter again assures them that he's working on it.

Finally after twenty long years, St. Peter comes running with a priest and tells the couple it's time for their wedding.

The couple marry and live happily for a while. But after a few months the couple go and find St. Peter and tell him things are not working out, and that they want to get a divorce.

"Can you arrange it for us?" they ask.

St. Peter replies, "Are you kidding?!! It took me twenty years to find a priest up here. How am I gonna find you a lawyer?"
Thursday, February 8th, 2007
10:00 am
Wednesday, January 17th, 2007
11:29 am
Monday, January 8th, 2007
7:24 am
Supervillian Meme
From a Ravan link:
Your results:
You are The Joker
The Joker
Mr. Freeze
Dr. Doom
Dark Phoenix
Lex Luthor
Green Goblin
Poison Ivy
The Clown Prince of Crime. You are a brilliant mastermind but are criminally insane. You love to joke around while accomplishing the task at hand.

Click here to take the "Which Super Villain am I?" quiz...

Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007
3:00 pm
Thursday, December 21st, 2006
10:10 am
Why "MysticViper?"
Simple answer: "Mystic" and "Viper" were taken. Not on this site, but on some other forum I was trying to join. "MysticViper" sounds like a mysterious snake or magical snake. If I had used "ViperMystic", I would sound like a idiot who plays with snakes to do magic.

How did I choose these two words to put together?

I like Air-combat flight simulator games and D&D.

"Viper" is a cool call sign for a fighter jock. When I was young, I dreamed of being a fighter pilot. I bought toy airplanes, built models and read all about planes. There was nothing cooler in my world than WWII or Jet fighters. Then, when I was about 17, my dad threw cold water on the plan. He told me how your eyesight has to be perfect to even be considered for a pilot, let alone fighter pilot. I don't have perfectly correctable vision, so no flight school for me.

About this time, I was in school listening to someone talking about "his fight with giants" and asked "What the hell are you talking about?"
He was talking about playing the D&D module G1 - "Steading of the Hill Giant Chief." I found it fascinating because he was talking like he really did these things, which, in a sense, he did.
After he introduced me to the game, I played almost continuous for the next 15 years. I acted as DM most of that time, which can suck. You can spend hours designing all the details of an adventure and the players can destroy it in 5 minutes.

I liked any character with some magical ability for myself. My first was a Half-elf ranger/Magic-User. The idea of casting spells and controlling mystical powers appealed to me, so "Mystic" is a handle I like.
Sunday, November 26th, 2006
1:01 pm
Quiz time

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..


Your Beauty lies in Intelligence. Logical, wise and a book-worm. You have a mature beauty and look that shows how smart you are. You rely solely on your logic to solve all your or anyone else's problems, which is a bit of a two-sided coin. The fact makes you seem rather emotionless and cold to some people. Not everything can be solved with logic. Despite it, many come to you for advice and love how smart you are, wondering if there is anything you don't know. You probably don't wear much make-up as it distracts you from your studies, but you may wear a pair of glasses just because you like how you look in them, whether you need them or not. For the most part, your looks mean little to you, which makes all the more attractive, especially when you're concentrated on something. Good for you. Now go get your next A .

Some Things That Represent You:

Element: Water, Light Animal: Owl Color: Black, White, Blues Song:Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata Expression: Concentrated Stare

Gemstone: Topaz Mythological Creature: Centaur Planet: UranusHair Color: Dusty Blonde Eye Color: Gray-Blue

Quote:"Knowledge is power."

Take this quiz!

Quizilla |

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Friday, October 27th, 2006
2:42 pm
It’s morally right that people should die for my amusement
The BBC website has a reasonably sensible, if not impartial, article by a sports shooter about guns - specifically, on how they're fun and basically safe, except for the very rare occasions when evil people get hold of them and go massacring.

Unsurprisingly, the 'have your say' comments are full of the usual suspects saying things like "aha, you said 'except sometimes'. How dare you expect even one innocent person to die for your fun?" This argument is generally hard to refute without sounding callous, but it's wrong.

If something provides sufficient net quantities of fun, it is easy to see that we do rate it as worth the death of one or several innocent people. How's that? Easy. Such beneficial-only-because-fun activities that kill the innocent and non-consenting as funfairs, fast cars, aviation, skateboarding, allowing men out at night, swimming pools and serving margarine to kids are both legal and socially acceptable.

Hence, society (here meaning "everyone who is capable of even the most basic level of moral debate") agrees that if enough fun is provided, the deaths for fun trade-off is acceptable. The only moral question left is over the necessary fun-to-killing ratio.

That isn't quite true, philosophically speaking - there's also a question over agent-related morality. We can accept a certain level of deaths as a consequence of where we set fun levels (we know some people will have aeroplanes crash into their houses as an inevitable consequence of mass aviation), but we can't deliberately kill a whole bunch of people for our amusement (hence popular revulsion at Running Man-style scifi concepts). This is a side debate with no relevance to gun policy, however.

Returning to the main point, the only reason to justify a government-imposed ban on guns would be that they're not fun enough to outweigh the harm they cause. At this point, things like guns being less dangerous than swimming pools might come into play (and quite possibly be refuted by the fact that they're also less fun). Either way, at least we'd be dealing with a debate rather than a witless moral panic.

Stolen from here.
Tuesday, September 5th, 2006
9:00 am
Tight Skirt, Bus Stop
One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step.

Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.

So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.

So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"

Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."
Friday, September 1st, 2006
8:23 am
Whos the Boss?
A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite.
As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here, put these on."

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.

"I cant wear your trousers." she said.

"That's right, said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family."

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."

He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

"Hell," he said. I cant get into your panties!"

She replied, "That's right...and that's the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes."
Monday, August 7th, 2006
8:37 am
Troublesome Johnny
A second grade teacher, Mrs Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?"
Johnny answered, "I am too smart for the second grade. My sister is in the third grade and I am smarter than she is! I think I should be in third grade too."
Mrs Brooks had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office.
While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told Mrs Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the second grade and behave.
She agreed Johnny was brought in and the conditions explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: What is 3 x 3?
Johnny: 9.
Principal: What is 6 x 6 ?
Johnny: 36.
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know.
The principal looks at Mrs Brooks and tells her, I think Johnny can go to the third grade.
Mrs Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"
The principal and Johnny both agree.
Mrs Brooks: What does a cow have four of that I have only 2 of?
Johnny, after a moment, Legs.
Mrs Brooks: What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?
Johnny: Pockets.
Mrs Brooks: What starts with C and ends with T, is hairy, oval and delicious and contains a whitish liquid?
Johnny: Coconut.
Mrs Brooks: What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Johnny takes charge.....
Johnny: Bubblegum.
Mrs Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on 3 legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.....
Johnny: Shake hands.
Mrs Brooks: Now I will ask some 'Who am I' questions, okay?
Mrs Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Johnny: Tent.
Mrs Brooks: A finger goes inside me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
Johnny: Wedding Ring.
Mrs Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver?
Johnny; Arrow.
Mrs Brooks: What word starts with F and ends in K and means a lot of heat and excitement?
Johnny: Fire truck.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send Johnny to the fourth grade, I got the last nine questions wrong myself!"
Monday, July 31st, 2006
10:04 am
Two Angels
Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family.

The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room.

Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement.

As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.

When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem."

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife.

After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.

When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears.

Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen?

The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die.

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it."

"Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."

Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You just might not know it until some time later...
Monday, July 17th, 2006
11:53 am
BOZO's donkey
There was an old man named Bozo, and all he had was a female donkey. One day he wins the lottery and gets $50,000. He doesn't know what to do with his money, so he decides to spend a night in a five star hotel. He asks for the finest room and starts going up the stairs with his female donkey. The manager sees him and asks where he's going with his donkey.
"Anywhere I go, she goes."
"I'm sorry, sir," said the manager, "but you can't take the donkey upstairs. Leave it down here with us and we'll take good care of her." So Bozo goes up to his room and opens the door. Everything is made of gold, there is a table full of food, and a huge television. He doesn't want to ruin anything so he takes his raggedy coat off and sleeps on the floor. The next morning the manager comes up to the room and asks how his night was.
"Great!" replied Bozo. "How much do I have to pay?" he asks.
"One thousand dollars for the food."
"But I haven't touched the food."
"It was right there, so you should have. Two thousand dollars for the TV."
"But I didn't even know how to turn the damn thing on!"
"It was there, so you should have. Five thousand for sleeping on the bed."
"But I slept on the floor!"
"It was there. Your total is eight thousand dollars."
"You owe me ten thousand dollars for screwing my donkey."
"But sir, I didn't screw your donkey."
"It was there. You should have!"
11:44 am
Breaks over! Back on your heads!
I have been working at another location so postings have stopped. I now enjoy what I am doing and am quite busy. (software development) I still have to support my home location (where I am now) so I have a moment to update.
On with the show!

Current Mood: irritated
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